Going home

I’m on my way back to Massachusetts after spending the weekend with my siblings, their families and our parents. My sister is moving to Germany in a couple of weeks, and this is the last time we will all be together for awhile. A certain level of sadness sits in my belly, sadness for conversations that didn’t happen, milestones that will be missed while we each pursue our own thing, and other little things.

Mick’s Heart, Peace Fire Charcoal Rubbing on paper, 2005

“Be proud of every scar on your heart, each one holds a lifetime’s worth of lessons.” ―Wallace Stegner

Wallace Stegner came to mind over the weekend, his name showed up on someone’s list of books to read and I was reminded of how much I loved Crossing to Safety and Angle of Repose. Each member of my family has scars on their hearts, some we gave to each other, some we gave to ourselves. Some are good, some are better off-forgotten. But I am proud of who we all are, who we have been and who we will become. I will miss my sister and her family while they are away. I know Facetime and Skype will keep us in contact, maybe even more so, but not being able to just get in my car and drive the five hours to see her, or knowing that I can do that will be the hardest. And this too will provide me with the opportunity for another life lesson. To be proud that this is a scar on my heart, to find family and comfort with those around me and within myself, and to reach out to my parents and my brother more, knowing that it is an opportunity for her, her family and our greater family. Be proud. Live your life.